Tangentially Applied Principles of Economics

The law of diminishing marginal returns applies to India's 24x7 reproductive machinery too. 

I will fail to list a great source which corroborates this claim but if our feelings are any measure of the phenomenon, then we've been witnessing negative returns for decades and decades together.

Let's say there's a subject called Tangentially Applied Principles of Economics (let me give a sexy sounding glamorous abbreviation too: TAPE. If this isn't sexy, please contribute :{). If our entire education system gets dedicated somehow, directly or indirectly, to teach just this one subject and make ourselves understand just this one single point and act upon it, it would take care of a hell lot of troubles.

Per Capita Nautanki Space

When I visit this lovely garden, morning or evening, I find a lot of people doing crazy things (no sexual innuendoes here) in the name of exercising. Perhaps when they see me running endlessly in circles for hours or doing some kind of stretching, they might amuse themselves thinking I am such a crazy guy.

Which brings me to this point. The landscape of this garden is quite wonderful. It offers relatively free and solitudinal and less-publicly-observable spaces to visitors. Guess it's this nature of the garden that prompts people to do crazy things and stay happy and feel healthy.

One of the casualties of modern town-planning is the Per Capita Nautanki Space (PCNS). If somehow that's given more conscious attention in planning, we might do a world of good to people's health.

New Duck

I have imagined something. New Duck. Now that I mention it, can you imagine the New Duck? How does it look?

Now that we are both aware of the New Duck and we both imagine the New Duck, what are the chances that the New Duck that resides in both our heads is the same?

Sure, both imagine with the same name New Duck but what are the chances that we are imagining the same New Duck?

Between two individuals who want to interact with each other, words are what are used to convey and understand imaginations, emotions, expectations, manners, behavior et al. And now you see how difficult it is to be specific?

Being specific is a skill. And it is difficult. Just plain difficult. Being able to make imagination understandable through words is a mighty skill. If anyone has mastered it, hire that person without a moment's delay.

This is a part of the reason why business plans/advices/consultation seem ridiculous. It might not be a matter of bad intention on the part of the evaluator. And it might not either be a matter of bad business plan either.

If New Duck is a product, do enough to produce a prototype like object. New Duck will be far better understandable.

Architecture of Confusion

There's this strange being which creeps into some deep recesses of our skulls. Apparently, it is observed to make its way out through the precise hole through which human beings take in their sources of energy and survival. 

But before making its way out, it has to make its way in. So it uses two orifices on the sides of the human face and two glassy balls which see and reflect this being.

This being has enchanted so many intellectuals and fools alike. And supposedly is responsible for development of civilization too. In democracy it's considered to be the biggest part of freedom of speech.

It feels like it has truly found its home in the human skull. But on other days, it feels like human beings have truly found their homes in this being.

Yesterday morning, until I came back from the garden, I felt like life's really good. I light up my mobile phone and this being flips my feeling so thoroughly to make me feel like life's pretty ridiculous too.

But then the forms that this being manifests in is staggering. And through those forms, it makes the human beings feel like they've created amazing structures. But perhaps if a way were to be found out to reach into those deep recesses where this being resides, we might find it to be laughing out playfully watching us use its structures all over the world.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome the one and only one, Mr. Worrrrrrrrrdemon!

Beliefistan

You can change (or uplift) this country only by travelling out of it.

Like if you're always commuting by bike, trying a car or, may be, a bus.

Like if you've always been running in the morning, trying a walk.

Like if you've always been watching your role model on TV, trying to find one in your neighborhood.

Like if you've always worn a baseball cap, trying to carry off an Ascot cap.

Like if you've always lived with your room filled with things, trying to live in a relatively empty room.

Facebook's business model

First play God. Create veins and arteries attached to the heart.

Then play Devil. Inject them with bad cholesterol.

And then, become an avatar of God, a bypass surgeon, to charge them to remove the bad cholesterol or to bypass the bad cholesterol.

The way to create an info-based business-model like FB, is that?

Icon courtesy: www.iconfinder.com

Begging and marketing

I was sitting in the car by the roadside when a beggar-girl with a little child in her hands approached.

She uttered a few words when I responded with, "Move away." And she started 'begging' more intensively. It took a few minutes of my ignoring (keeping silent or faking indifference, that is) to make her go away from that place.

My guess is if I hadn't responded in the first place with that 'move away', she would've left sooner. Eliciting response itself is a victory. Positive or negative, it spurs the person trying to get a response into doing a little bit more.

The creepy thing is faking indifference. That kills. Or rather sucks. Now whatever it is you wanna kill, just fake.

Suppose I were Humpty Dumpty

and you knew that I am so fond of motorcycling, you would say, "Humpty Dumpty had a great fall!"

Talk about my sense of humor. :)

Some blood stains on my shirt below.

Those are the positive scraps out of my jeans torn away so that my knee could be dressed.

That's my knee and the negative cut out in my jeans.

Don't ask me how the accident happened. In short, a little slum-kid of about 3-4 yrs just popped up in the middle of the road rather nonchalantly. I braked hard and fell. Nothing happened to the kid. Walked away like they typically do.

While I was falling, in that half a second, I just said to myself, "I am in for some serious stuff here."

Well I got up almost in a push-up manner. What a relief it was when I found that my legs and hands were fit enough to push me up after a nice motorcycle fall. No it isn't funny. I was scared about having broken a bone or two.

Anyway, I just feel it helps to keep (or try hard to keep) our body in shape. There's just a slight bit of better control and balance in our movements and acts, if we work to keep the body in shape. And that 'little better' goes a long way. To relate my efforts to stay fit with the accident might seem far-fetched but there's no other way I can think about it.

We've been gifted with an amazingly evolved and arranged body. It's organic and has its own ways and so very easy to abuse it. But quite a bit rewarding when we put in effort to stay fit and in shape.

Patli gali se nikal le...

If you are curious like me, you would ask, "kaise nikalte hain patli gali se?!"

When I was in college, I used to time myself everyday. I used to keep a track of how much I would take to reach on my motorcycle. One day I was in a bit of a hurry.

After that 'hurry', what's the question in your head. "Then?"

If you ask me, "Why?" I am not sure I remember. And I am not even sure you'll enjoy the narration.

'Why' is the reason. Every event, every story has a 'why' and a 'how'. 'How' is the sequence. 'How' are the details.

'Why' is the short-cut. 'How' is the actual living.

"Why did you change 5 jobs in such a short career?" might not have as entertaining and as revealing an answer as "How did you manage to change 5 jobs in such a short career?"

Where you want people to work, "how" will help you choose better than "why". "Why" is the ideologue. "How" is the man of the word and a man of the world.

Glass Windows

There's something that let's you see yourself in it.

There's one that lets you see the beauty that lies beyond it. It's there in between you and the beyond but it doesn't come in your way.

It doesn't let the wind have its way and smash you around. Or doesn't let the chill of the snow freeze you so easily.

There's one which if you remove it from in front of your eyes, you see unbearable barrenness. And you don't see yourself anymore either.

Drum-set with consciousness

I have a drum-set. It's been lying with me for many years. Last I played it must be 4 years back, when I recall at best. Suppose it had consciousness, and to behave basis its consciousness, suppose it had legs and limbs. What would it do?

My drum-set doesn't have consciousness. But I do.

What should I do now? What should I have done earlier? And if I do nothing now, what should I do in the coming times?

Bouncing Boards

You shoot a ball and back comes an arrow - Critic, jealous friends

You shoot a ball and back comes the same ball - Your wall

You look and back comes the same look - Mirror

You shoot a ball and back comes a tricky dodgy ball - Competitor, Rival, Opponent

You shoot a ball and back come hundred different pieces of the ball - Society

You shoot a ball and back comes a-man-riding-the-ball - Friend who cares, Coach, Partner

She just missed what you said

After one visualization of the vision, it's all the details.

Does your girl-friend just ignore what you say or do? So, how did you feel when she did that? You want her to pay attention to the smallest thing you share with her, no? Then, you feel 'loved'. And of course, if you've ignored the little things about her, am sure your 'love' isn't growing.

Between requirement and delivery lay the details. And every action or non-action details the delivery. Details come at an expense - lots of emotional energy. That's what you are paid for, even if peanuts to begin with. That's what makes you a name.

Immediate question in mind: how does one know whether the other person is willing to get into details?

If there's no space between the beats

Beat wouldn't be called beat. In fact,there wouldn't be anything called 'a beat'. No heartbeat. No drumming. No thump (of a Royal Enfield bullet). No music. And then I wonder, if there would be any dancing.

You are expected to stay in constant touch. You are expected to keep a constant tab on your subject, on your juniors, on your area of expertise. Won't make music that way. Won't thrill you. Won't thrill others.

Your CV is bananas

Or may be apples or rice.

There are people who've chosen to call it Aeroplane Basmati Long Grain Rice. Others call it Sanjeev Kapoor's Biryani.

And if your rice doesn't assume those names? Would you pack it in a gunny bag? What size? Would it have a handle? Would you let them smell it? Would they bother to even smell it? Would it carry a sticker? Who would consume it? What would be the manner of consumption? What would they say after consuming it?

Which 'batch' are you from?

Can't quite hold back when asked such a question. Have to reply MICA 2002-04. Understand the meaning of the question but can't quite accept what it implies and what is buried deep beneath layers.

Classrooms, office cubicles and tables, assembly lines, retail shelves... Uncannily similar. Batch like. Check the crimp of your toothpaste tube. It shows batch number.

'Batch' just sort of explains why we are what we are.

Flood of Names

Branding has to contend with quite a few names now. Add to that the words in the message that the brand wants people to remember and credit the brand for.

Depending on the business model and the intentions, one might have to take care of the following names/words. Take for once, Shopper's Stop, a retail hub fashion brands.

• Retail Store Name - Shopper's Stop
• Online Store/Domain Name - Shoppersstop.com
• Tagline/Punchline for the Retail Store - Start Something New
• Owned Brands - Stop (and similar other names)

Also, important is the category name. Category name of the retail store, category name of the product for which it has an owned brand and so on

• Category Name for the retail store - Fashion Store? Lifestyle Store?
• Category Name for the owned brand - Women's Office Wear / Casual Wear, etc.

Sure, category names get embedded in a while and therefore, might not need marketing spends and energies. But for any new position or innovation, category names also need to be remembered.

And many more words are added through campaigns and messages in those campaigns... Imagine the memory capacities of common people! And there's a passage through which these messages reach the place of storage in the consumer's active memory, imagine the width of that passage and possibilities of clogging.

Or if the minds are fertile lands of the earth, imagine the rate of absorption. Also imagine then, the viscosity of the messages. Water-like? Toothpaste-like? Soup-like? Or wood-like? Or metal-like?

So how patient are you? How much do you have? Do you have a nail and a hammer?

Watching collisions from my window

Every day I hear people on bikes or cars crashing around a particular crossroad junction (which I can see from my window). At least 2 every day, if not more.

I can list many reasons for this phenomenon:

1. Drivers do not follow driving rules
2. Walkers do not practice traffic rules
3. There are no traffic instructions around that junction
4. People - drivers and pedestrians alike - do not have time to wait to slow down and manoeuvre
5. Youngsters and rich men like to drive real fast so that their bikes and cars can emit 'fart-like' sounds and make people pay them some attention
6. The space is densely populated

Now think about your office.

Sharad Pawars of business

I guess, if more politicians were accessible or if politicians were accessible more frequently, they would have very similar experiences.

If customers could find the top men of businesses, perhaps a lot of them would share the fate. In a country like ours, an unheard or unattended complaint is nothing but a slap which missed the target. If only marketers could appreciate this desperation and rage among consumers, and try to address that instead of releasing one 'beautiful' ad after another, instead of bothering about simply meeting targets and showing amazing numbers on the ppt, instead of worrying about shareholders' wealth every quarter.

Orifices

Nostrils let the air in. Mouth lets water and food in. Pores in our skin let the fluids and salts ooze out. You get the drift.

What lets the thoughts sneak into our head?

It would be easy to mix thoughts with air and let them sneak into the mind. Or perhaps mix them in a fruit salad and gulp them down. Does it happen that way? In some cases, may be. How else?